GULP!

Well, the pre-show anxiety showed up right on schedule. It usually pops in about two weeks before a show date. I am content on my queenly art throne when BAM the stomach seizes and I lay awake in bed with a giant question mark hovering.

I give myself all the right pep talks. It always works out (it always does). People will show up for the opening (they always do). There will be enough art (there always is). But yet the anxiety follows my every step. My pre-sleep is filled with me staging the show again and again. I constantly jot little notes of details that have already be jotted in my calendar just in case I forget to look at the notes or the calendar!

Don't get me wrong. I have the best job ever. Unfortunately, there is a degree of successful performance that is dependant on my continued job as an artist. There have been many paintings and creations that I felt were brilliant. But the public never gave them a second look. So, what if everything I created for this show falls into that category? WHAT IF ONLY 5 PEOPLE SHOW UP AND HATE EVERYTHING????! I could be wearing a WAL-MART GREETER VEST NEXT MONTH!

Okay, okay, I got a grip. I read a quote recently that I think is going to be my mantra. "When a painting works, it's your fault entirely. When it doesn't, it's not. It's the painting's fault." I wonder if the painting is worried?